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Friday, January 7th, 2005
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3:05 pm - the 'i can't believe it's a remix'
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le narcisse noir blinked out of existence due to my neglect. soon many coworkers return from vacation to take away the strangely regular schedule i've had lately at work. i'm a phone call away from enrolling at the new orleans academy of fine arts. kevin's neglected copy of kant's 'critique of pure reason' is staring balefully at me from the bookshelf. the winter holidays have been weathered with surprisingly few casualties. a tsunami in the pacific rose up to take the lives of at least 200,000 people.
i'm relocating to my other LJ, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2) dimestorerotic, which until now has been reserved only for snippets of writing, since i don't have the attention span for more than one journal. sorry for sorta dropping off of the planet. i'm in a weird place right now. need to check my email, though i'm sticking with the gmail one, if you don't have it and you want it, or want to be friended on the other journal, leave a comment.
eventually i'm going to pull together another website, something a bit simpler, more focused around my original work, though the other stuff will be there too.
ta very much for reading.
current mood:  lethargic
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| Thursday, November 4th, 2004
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10:22 pm - kulture vultures and teriyaki chicken
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i just had the most fabulous day. seeing andrea usually makes me feel like that. but it was especially nice today. we went and loitered around the mall after she closed up shop, and i bought a scarf, it was actually chilly tonight, amazing, i'm so psyched, can start wearing jackets maybe. so sick of being hot, the scarf is really long, dark brown and teal, looked really fabulous with my pinstriped pants and pale pink (with all sorts of oldschool punk rock symbols down the front and black on the sleeves, got it at kulture vulture on dumaine) shirt i bought yesterday (kinda been spoiling myself the past couple of days, but i have a bit of extra, so it's no big deal). i also got a purse (been really needing one for a while, it's annoying to always have to carry my shoulder bag, so much space for so few items). it's pretty functional, nothing too bleh or girly. black, natch.
we had dinner at the sake cafe, split an order of gyoza, and each got chicken teriyaki, reminded me of being with mandi back in CA at tokyo. lots of seaweed in this miso, though. ^_^ yum.
i love talking with her, we always cover such myriad subjects, and she's so kooky and fun and real, and i got invited to this party on saturday night by one of her friends, bryan, who's opening up this new candle shop in the quarter, should be really fun. makes the fact that i have to work at eight a.m. on sat morning worth it, since it leaves my night free.
anyway, distracted and incoherent, but happy, so...shutting up now. *smiles*
current mood:  happy
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| Saturday, October 30th, 2004
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10:35 am - *wide eyes* please don't let me be fired
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quick recap:
yesterday, beth and justin arrived. i actually like them, which is really cool. justin's all into nin, and beth's just seems really nice and quirky.
we went out to some pub (lager's) for a pseudo lunch thing, i had chicken fingers and there were floaty weird things in keith's sprite and mine, so i didn't really drink the new one the waitress brought me. then went to UNO so wendy could take a placement test, then went to the House of Shock, some haunted house thing run by the band Pantera, though i was expecting it to be more scary from the pics i saw. still, molested by scary people in costumes, slimed, pitch black corridors, ear-killing sounds and strobelights that made me wibble... it lasted for half an hour, which is much longer than most haunted houses. i didn't dream of zombies last night, so the world is good.
was supposed to go in to work at nine this morning, went to bed early for it an everything, but either my alarm just didn't bloody go off, or my zombie self got up, turned it off, and went back to sleep, and both are quite probable. called an apologized the moment i woke up again, and cookie was just like 'oh' and then said that it was really busy and not to come in, since i said i'd be there asap, and said to wait and call pavlos around two. so now i'm really worried, cause i really really need this job and they wouldn't fire me for this, would they? ;-; *neurotic* i'm trying so hard, i just don't function before noon, gah... >.< please let pavlos not hate me...
*curls up and dies*
current mood:  nervous
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| Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
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11:20 am - the good, the bad, and beautifully twisted
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the good: i got the job at russell's marina grill. yay me. i start on saturday. and guy and diann are taking me out to dinner on friday. and from the money i've gotten for my birthday, i've enough to cover rent. and maybe have a bit to burn after, but let's not be hasty.
need to buy khakis and black shoes for uniform at work. and a little book thing for the orders.
the bad: my mum settled the lawsuit out of court. so, the coke-snorting alcholic pedophile gets his hundred grand. and his little mini-me too. my brother truly is wayne's pawn now. fuck. mum's stressed about the money. she's going to sell the house. i feel part of me being ripped out. my home will be gone.
the beautifully twisted: life. the world. though sometimes i wish i was more in tune with the punchline of the great cosmic joke of existence.
current mood: listless
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| Monday, October 11th, 2004
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12:17 pm - and life sees fit to shite upon me again...
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paul didn't call me back, i had to call him today...long story short, he gave the position to someone else. after leaving me hanging all weekend. he could have bloody called me. like, on friday so i could call bridget back and tell her what's up. i just called PJ's, and bridget isn't there, and this rude lady took my name and number and hung up on me with a parting 'i'll have her call you' without even letting me say what it was in regards to. fuck. next thing i know, PJ's won't be needing anyone, and i'll be back to square one. *buries face in hands* i don't know what to do anymore. i really don't. this is all so fucked up.
current mood: cursed
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| Sunday, October 10th, 2004
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3:10 pm - *hisses*
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so, eventually the artstore will call me. or i'll call them, out of irritation. they were supposed to call. so i can call PJ's and let bridget know whether or not i'm interested in the job. gah. i hate when people leave me hanging. it's so so annoying.
*fumes silently*
anyway, i've been madly motivated in the creative end of things...i have like sixteen new cards for andrea. yay. it's like an addiction; since my art supplies are out, i just sit down and immediately set to work. very weird, as well.
hm.
current mood:  annoyed
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| Friday, October 8th, 2004
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11:32 am - hmm...
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so it's bloody pouring out. like cascades, really loud. rain is good, hopefully it drives away some of this awful heat. an actual autumn would be nice. ^_^
forstall's still hasn't called me back to tell me the whole yes or no...though PJ's coffeehouse called me, i have an interview with them today at four. hm. tis far away (only two miles, but when it's sweltering bloody hot, it's a very long way.). though, any job is good. i'm just a lazy, out of shape bitch. *wry smile* i suppose a bicycle would be a worthy investment of the money i don't have.
so i should be getting ready for my intervview. i shall return eventually with an update, if i don't drown in the downpour. x.x
current mood: anxious
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| Thursday, October 7th, 2004
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2:31 am - hm.
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forstall's art supply potential job update: went to interview, talked to three people, paul said he'd call me by the end of the week with a yes or no, since there are others to interview.
in other news, went with wendy to get her cat a booster shot today, andrea drove since keith had class, and the shelter was out in the middle of the boonies/bayou/nowhere. and yes, kinda sketchy. but there was this stout little black and white tuxedo-marking girl kitten there who latched onto me and rubbed my hand through the cage and i got to hold her, and she was so cuddly and dug her claws into my chest (not too deeply, thank the valar). so soft and purry. though i still want ozzie, too. tough choice, if ever i can get one. *sigh* there was also this huge tabby boy kitty named zeus with such a docile nature and tiny meow, running about free in the shelter, so sweet. he had really soft fur.
and andrea bought all of the cards from me that i'd made, said they'd totally sell, gave me half of the money now half later, it'll be about forty bucks when all's said and done. so i set to making some more today, made about five. ^_^ she also said that my art was amazing and that she'd pay for journals if i could get copies of my artwork made to put on them, and i could pay her back later. spiffy. art with actual profit, how novel.
i should so be sleeping, tis mad late. was so tired today that i took a little nap.
current mood: mellow
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| Monday, October 4th, 2004
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3:47 pm - Ónen i-Estel Edain, ú-chebin estel anim.
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so paul from forstall's art store called me back. he asked if i was still looking for a job, and wants to meet me tomorrow morning at eleven. i hope it goes well. i'm going to wear my grey trousers and a suitably mellow shirt...so want this job.
wish me luck. ^_^;;;
*crosses fingers*
...and for some reason Evan Rosier likes to brood to trashy Europop. go figure. who am i to complain?
current mood: hopeful
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| Monday, September 27th, 2004
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5:45 pm - if only my life were more interesting...in a non natural disaster related sort of way. ^^;;
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so, last week i was a waste of space, played at eating nil though my housemates would usually bring home food and give me some, therefore nullifying my pseudo anorexic state.
anyway. i should have bought more tea when i was out, shit. *pouts* my english breakfast is gone. need more. and some creamer. have plenty of sugar.
went to forstall's, the art supply store i'm so anxious to be hired at, and wandered around a bit (they have linoleum blocks, and black-printing ink, so exciting) then talked to the girl there. apparently she's the one who's leaving, she's moving to arizona. she used to teach the kids' art classes there, which is cool, though she's certified, which means if i did get hired there i wouldn't be taking over that aspect. but mostly they're looking for someone on the floor. i gave her my name and all, and she gave me a thing with the number for the main store on it so i can call the owner, paul, and talk to him, maybe set up an interview. i mentioned all the sorts of art i'd done, and apparently none of them have ever done drafting before, which i did in my intro to art course (a quarter in each dept. of art at high school, to give a taste of everything, rather helpful, actually), and people come in and ask them about it all the time, and they're all like 'eh?' so perhaps that's a good point for me. i remember the basics of it, i suppose. t'was a long time ago. ^^
tried this bottled tazo berry iced tea stuff today, cause i was all nasty and sweaty and near to falling over (i think my body's rather dehydrated of late), and it's really good and natural-tasting, which is nice. i wasn't really sure about it. and while i was drinking it and cooling down, i filled out an application in baskin robbins, which didn't smell as weird as the one in redlands, brownie points, plus the people there seemed pretty quirky and fun. the ramones' 'i wanna be sedated' came on on the radio, and they were just chilling in the back sitting on the counter and talking music, and it seemed like a good omen. don't think i'd mind working with them.
hopefully things will be looking up soon. i'm all caught up with keith on the monetary end, and once i get hired i'm going to start a bank account with this check my mum gave me ages back, and things should be good. now if only they haven't adopted or destroyed ozzie, the cat i want, by the time i'm all pulled together, things would be just peachy.
current mood: hopeful
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| Thursday, September 16th, 2004
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8:05 pm - final hurricane update: ^_^
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so, even though we did end up evacuating (drove for like 12 hours and ended up in Lufkin, Texas, since there were like no hotels anywhere...then came back, driving for another 11 hours, though we did take lots of back roads and alternate routes and stuff, so we missed alot of whatever traffic there would be), the hurricane didn't even directly hit us. which is a good thing, since we haven't got any damage to speak of, still have power, no flooding, no one broke in and stole anything...and we're having burgers for dinner. yay. ^_^ i love grilled food. our food didn't even spoil. happiness. the power must not have gone out for too long.
anyway, wanted everyone to nkow that i'm safe and alive...and also, sheila finally bloody paid me, so my account now has a total of $700 dollars or so in it. which means i can pay next month's rent, and takes so much pressure off of me. still need a job, but at least now i'm not manically stressed about it.
so glad to be un-drowned and un flooded and all. and glad to be home. the car was killing my back.
much love, and hope everyone's safe.
especially tyler, being from alabama where the hurricane hit and all. *coddle* let me know you're ok, ne darling? *worries* ;_;
current mood: relieved
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| Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
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12:39 am - 3rd hurricane update:
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michael (our landlord, a cop, he stopped by tonight) said that if the hurricane hits the city directly, the floodwaters could be like 25 feet high. he said to keep our window unlocked in case it floods so that we could climb out on the roof. oh. my. gods.
I'm intent upon moving out after this. I can't stand to be in a situation where other people are in control of my fate during a crisis. will pay rent from home or whatever, to fulfill my part of the lease, but...don't want to be so out of control. I feel unsafe here. I don't want to be subject to Keith's 'I like extreme weather' whims if this happens again. if I survive this, that is.
want to evacuate so bad...
don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, I'm too freaked out.
allow me to sound like a chibi momentarily when I say 'I want my mum.' that whole false security parents thing. it'd totally work for me right now. I feel like I can't talk about how terrified I am with Wendy, 'cause she's scared too but doesn't want to talk about it, or Keith, since he'd likely mock me again in his amused little way.
current mood: scared
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| Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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6:39 pm - hurricane situation update:
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keith has decided to stay, and since he's the one with the car and the licence, as he goes so goes my nation. x.x
I'll try to be as safe as possible, but...we'll see. threats of really high winds and flooding rains, yadda yadda. I guess Ivan's a level four now, instead of level five, but still.
none of my relatives or parents or anything know that we're staying... I feel horrid about it, but I don't want them flipping out. we might be okay. apparently UNO is a shelter if it gets really bad, and it's only 5 mins away, but...how is keith supposed to drive in that sort of weather?
*sighs*
much love, my lovelies. *group cuddle*
be safe.
current mood: nervous
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2:04 am - let's go straight..to level five...
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so apparently there's this mammoth hurricane headed for us. Ivan, they've dubbed it. a level five. dad says it's already killed 64 people, and it hasn't even hit the mainland yet. forgive the ice queen for quaking in her boots just a bit. kinda thinking I'd rather die on my own terms than be drowned by a flood. New Orleans is below sea level, plus we're quite near Lake Pontchartrain, and that's totally asking for it. Keith is all excited. he keeps sounding like he wants to stay. he likes extreme weather.
I don't. if it starts getting close to us, I want to evacuate. part of me really fears that he won't. I mean, he's sensible, but there's always this off chance that he's all 'ha! adventure time!' decides to settle in for a nice long storm and flood and all. and he's the one with the car, and able to drive. so, if he decides to stay, I'm kinda fucked.
guy and diann, and andrea and john, are heading to atlanta to stay with sheila and brian. I wish I could go with them. but I don't want to impose either. damn my standoffish northern inability to beg for 'sanctuary'.
I'm probably making a far bigger deal of this than I should, and it'll probably not really hit us at all, since I've decided to care about it, but...
guess we'll have to see where Ivan is in the morning and go from there. I don't really want to sleep. stress has coiled around my spine in my lower back, and I'm obsessing over what-ifs.
dad and deneen want us to evacuate. deneen was adamant. we have to call our landlord in the morning and see what he has to say, whether he wants to do anything to batten down the hatches at the house, or what.
so yes.
much love to everyone. be safe.
current mood:  stressed
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| Sunday, September 5th, 2004
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11:50 pm - southern decadence
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so, this weekend is southern decadence in the quarter, a sort of pride type thing... this really flamy, funny guy gave me beads because i wasn't making any effort to catch them at the bead toss. wend and keith were much more into it, i preferred watching, plus i feared getting hit in the head with beads. ouch. i also got spanked by this guy in a teeny tiny leather thing and leather armbands...only the very very necessary bits covered. he wasn't attractive to me, but it was sort of amusing. he spanked keith and wendy also. *smirk* with this little cat o' nine tails type thing. life is so weird.
also, this girl asked me if my shirt said 'placebo' when we were standing waiting for the parade, and when i confirmed, she was all 'i endorse that. they're totally the best band in existence' or something along those lines. it amused me and kinda made my day. *laughs* it's the little things, really.
we played scattergories tonight, and watched peter pan (wend and keith had never seen it, they don't seem to have cared much for it, though i'm still quite fond of it).
current mood: apathetic
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| Saturday, September 4th, 2004
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6:23 pm - *glances around*
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i just made myself a little resume type thing. since i'm so damned tired of filling out applications. especially since i can't remember half of the stuff about past jobs that they want.
to summarize my summer: my job sucked, was humiliated on my last day and had a breakdown...drove for three days, saw scary tennessee spiders and crazy people in shoneys (a place i would not ever eat in again), have eaten more fast food than i ever would have if given the choice, am now living off of pasta and tea, we're in new orleans and have a house now (our landlord is a cop, but won't let us have cats) and i still don't have a job. life is...interesting.
places i've applied:
--art supply store
--little miss muffin (the girls in there are so pop culture *grimace*)
--shoe envy (owned by the same person as little miss muffin, but they seem a bit less plasticine)
--coffee & company
--reginelli's (a pizza place that would be so cool to work at, the people there seem more in my niche)
--landry's (restaurant; took the app home to finish it, lots of specifics my slippery mind doesn't recall)
places i could but don't really want to apply:
--walgreen's (overnight shift, six bucks an hour, bleh)
--blockbuster (the electronic application thing took wend over an hour to finish)
--robert's fresh market
--baskin robbins (kinda sketchy...but perhaps free ice cream?)
much love to anyone i ignored at all over the summer in my stressed out 'agh! i hate my job! i hate my life! so so tired...zz...' ness. didn't update anything at all this summer, except the occasional fic recs on my rec journal. and my messageboard died. le sigh. i neglected it, and they deleted it. bastards. anyway. >.>
an untitled poem that i came up with the other day, if anyone is interested:
anywhere but here
trying to breathe is like dying by inches
forever sleep in our broken fingers' clinging
desperation
asphyxiation as cold eyes pin and strangulate
the desire to do more or less than feel
lessened by unwanted worship
only a crude idol of clay and the shepherd
shies from the sweetness of panpipes
seduced in half-awareness to a kiss
stronger than this offer of immortality
flesh is but ashes
an urn brought to jade and white cliffs
caught by a strong eastern breeze of the adventurous
one so timid in life, no longer fettered by lungs
sharpness of breath cannot linger beyond
the last embrace of fire is the oilslick
of another lie and the press of mouths painted
a cheap allure yet stunning
our beauty is lost beneath silicone and saline
in death it matters not for in smoke
we are at last
no longer plasticine
mandi said it's very stream of consciousness. hm. ^_^
current mood:  blah
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| Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
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10:49 am - taboo and messagebaords and slackerness too...
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i created a messageboard. ^_^ i rock. *dances around in brief narcissistic cloud* it's not actually that special, but i'm happy about it.
i did like zilch for huck finn last night, read maybe two chapters, and was all pleh and haven't got any response paper for ellie today. though she already knows this, since i stayed over last night as a decoy for her stalker who keeps sending her lolita quotes about murder. yes. very strange. we rented and watched thsi japanese movie taboo, which had samurai and bishounen and homosexuality in it, so i was rather satisfied. and the underlying ideas and philosophies in it were interesting too. then we watched some arslan, but despite being really fond of gieve and appreciating narsus and darun's sexiness and weird sexual tension, she fell asleep. i woke her up, and made her go to bed. then we ended up talking for a really long time about weird and random things.
the covers were really warm and nice this morning, and i so didn't want to get up, but i could hear ellie rustling about in the kitchen, so i finally dredged myself out of bed and brushed my teeth. then made soup. then we went out to the GFE before returning to school. i got a vanilla chai and a cinnamon bun. mm.
was an hour late for work this morning, though i did call in. our phone is acting like it's possessed because trevor thought it would be fun to press all the buttons. we've currently got it unplugged, because it makes weird beeps and crackling sounds, and i'm really disturbed. hn. silly boy. why must he act less mature than my little brother?
i think i'm gonna bring my laptop to class today and show some of my different web layouts i've designed to people who care. ^^ i really do need a graphic. perhaps i'll go scouting about for one. hm.
current mood: apathetic
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| Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
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9:44 am - *headtilt*
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i'm working on the beginings of a new novel. one i think i shall stick with, since it's got so many genres blended in together, and mandi's really into it, and so i've told her to prod me about it when she wants more. i work much better when reminded and provided with the incentive of feedback and suggestions and such. *yawn* one of my focal charas is evienh, based off of the character of etienne, though they're not that similar. evienh can't remember who he is, for one thing. but yes, if any have interest, tell me and i'll e-mail the little bit i have to you. i'd very much like to have input on it.
in other news, huck finn class is going decently, though i have to read for it and write my response paper. >.< som t.s. eliot article. no wait, a poem. i'm not too fond of it so far, it's not of a poetic style i enjoy. some parts are somewhat interesting, but on the whole, it's not really my thing.
ha. quoted jack sparrow in my response paper. *smirks* i love pirates. we watched it for class, actually. hopefully ellie likes this. gonna ask mandi to read it over for me, see if it needs tweaking. hm.
current mood:  thoughtful
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| Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
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10:51 am - zzzzz... -_-
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*yawn* i stayed over at ellie last night since she didn't want to stay alone and she's housesitting and such. i actually did my reading, both the book and the article, and wrote my first response paper. amazing, ne? (for those who know what a slacker i am, it's a rather stunning feat)
i'm really tired, and i'm in terrible need of a shower, and yes. did i mention tired? woke up around eight-twenty, and i have work at nine. plus, there's travelling time, and the fact that i had to copy my notes out of the margins of sula so i could let jenny borrow it, given that she asked so nicely. so i've been sitting at work, writing diligently away. this is quite a good setup, actually. read, sleep, work, write, eat, class, repeat. and i had a can of my minestrone soup last night while i was reading, and it was so lovely (mandi and i went shopping yesterday, so now i have rice cakes and soup and orange juice, things to actually keep me alive and make it so i don't have to eat the yuckiness of the commons).
*yawns widely* a whole 'nother hour at work. meh. want soup, and a nice cool shower. that would be so lovely. though i only have an hour before class, so maybe not. still, i might be able to pull it off. we'll see. if not, i'll get a shower after class. and maybe a nap. zzz.
current mood:  drained
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| Monday, May 3rd, 2004
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9:30 am - *yawn*
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i've been such a lazy bitch; haven't updated in a bit. i just had break, and now i'm back in school for another three weeks, tis may term. i'm taking 'leaping into chaos: huck finn', a class my friend ellie is teaching. it should prove fun and interesting. just bought the books for it. apparently at some point my dad did remember me. and though i think my stomach is never going to really want to eat again, given that i've hardly fed it a meal a day in the last ten days, i'm rather thankful that i had $$ to buy books. very important. far more important than food.
over break, i got ellie hooked on yami no matsuei, which she is now intent upon watching once more all the way through before i leave. and we roasted a chicken together. which was interesting. it turned out nicely though. yum. and watched master and commander. which is just such a slashy, slashy movie. *smirk* she's watching a friend's house, and i stayed over one night. that was when we watched yami. on the chicken night, i went home after, since i had no clothes and i didn't want to sleep with my contacts in. geh. i need to buy her a new toothbrush, since she gave me the unopened spare one she keeps in her car for emergencies. i was an idiot and forgot mine. >.< keels couldn't make it to the meeting we'd scheduled, but hopefully we can reschedule. i really want to see her before i go. i totally understand that the chibi comes first, though. tis like me and my kitties. my own furry chibis. how i miss them. can't wait to get home, so bk can get all purry and drool happily on my coverlet.
i've been revamping my site, at a new address, though it's still rather under construction. still have to go through all of my writings and paste them into the design i made, but it'll be rewarding, i think, when all is said and done. i really like my new layout. i had another one i was considering, but the red and the blue didn't work together too well, and it bothered my eyes. so, uncharacterisitically, i settled for the pale pink. it's terribly terribly pale, so it doesn't offend my sense of self. ^_~ check it out. it should be fully up and functional within the week (i hope). and having such a simple yet pretty new design should hopefully help me get back on a writing kick. ^^ i'm going to code some other original stuff i've written, and perhaps some new fanwork type stuff, so that there's some actual new material. and i also need to resave and upload my fanart and original art. meh. i'm certainly going to separate into new and old, since my style (nonexistent and unconsistent as it is) always changes.
mm, so tired. we watched 'love actually' last night, and mandi brought back a yummy hazlenut filled chocolate bar, the most rainbowy pencil ever, and both 'nancy boy' singles for me. i was so excited. especially about the singles. so shiny. *dissolves into sparkly fangirlishness*
so, yes. was up till two watching the movie, and now am at work, terribly tired, but awake, which is a feat. t'was so hard to wake up this morning. my body kept wanting to curl back up and go back to sleep, even though my mind had grudgingly accepted that waking up was imperative.
on a slightly more sombre note, the lawsuit i'm to testify in has been moved back to october. fuck. this is so damned annoying. i hate having my life on hold like this. it's like this vise that keeps closing tighter and tighter. i can barely breathe as it is. so fucked up. this needs to be over with so we can all move forward. i already stagnate enough as it is. i don't need any external assistance, especially from that asshole.
oh, and i have a bit of whiplash. my neck is all stiff. an suv bumped into the car behind us, which consequently bumped into us, at a stoplight. very annoying. no damage to the car though, so we didn't do anything about it. i'm not really in pain or anything, just stiff. hn. and eating actual food makes me sick, given that i've been living off of ramen and granola bars. meh. i need a neck rub. and some hot tea. though it's too hot for tea here. damned desert.
current mood: lethargic
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